Renowned sex educators Lindsay Fram and Marshall Miller hosted “I Love Female Orgasm” Thursday to discuss anatomy, sexual health and women’s empowerment, sponsored by American University Housing and Residence Life and other organizations.
Fram and Miller, full-time sex educators, facilitated an informative conversation peppered with sexual innuendo and audience interaction, followed by trivia for sex-positive prizes.
Fram and Miller travel the country teaching comprehensive sex education and have spoken at hundreds of colleges. Fram, who has more than 15 years of experience working in the sexual health field, said her goal is to close the “orgasm gap,” the phenomenon that women have fewer orgasms than men in cisgender, heterosexual relationships.
The duo began by showing the diner scene of “When Harry Met Sally,” to illustrate the decades-old trope that women frequently fake their orgasms.
Fram and Miller launched into a discussion of why some women fake orgasms and what myths we have been taught about the female orgasm. The audience of about 400 students sent in anonymous responses using Wooclap, an interactive app.
One such prompt, “What have you heard about the female orgasm?” yielded responses ranging from “fake news” and “urban legend” to “incredible” and “amazing.”
Fram said a person with a vagina takes an average of 20 minutes to reach climax, while someone with a penis takes an average of two to five minutes. This disparity likely explains the orgasm gap, which couples can overcome by communicating with one another, she said at the event.
Emphasizing the importance of consent, Fram and Miller said they recommend learning what one’s partner likes by asking questions or checking in during sex. Fram said these may be difficult conversations to initiate with a partner, but dispelling that awkwardness is why she is a full-time sex educator.
“I think that there is so much focus on the risks associated with sexual activity and we so often forget to talk about the reason that people choose to engage in sexual activity, which is pleasure,” Fram said.
Another major takeaway of the event was not to go into sex with the sole motive of making one’s partner orgasm. Fram said partners should not rush through foreplay to get to the “main event,” stating that every aspect of sex should prioritize enjoyment.
“Do things that might lead to an orgasm, but don’t make that the end goal,” Fram said during the event. “If it happens, great, but if it doesn’t, that’s okay, too.”
While the event focused on the vagina and clitoris, Fram and Miller noted their use of gender-inclusive language. Segments of their presentation recognized people who are transgender and/or in same-sex relationships, as well as addressed the possible difficulty of achieving an orgasm for those taking antidepressants. They also presented illustrations of a diverse range of vulvas – unique in size, shape and color – to teach anatomy.
Angie Natoli, the community director for HRL, said she brought “I Love Female Orgasm” to AU because of its inclusivity after she saw the event being hosted at Towson University.
“I realized how inclusive it was and how much it normalized sex and provided a lot of sex education in a way that I thought was funny and engaging and beyond any sex-ed program I’ve ever seen,” Natoli said.
Jordan Baker, a freshman in the School of International Service and the College of Arts and Sciences, is a senator for Anderson Hall in the Residence Hall Association who helped plan the event.
“It’s truly all-encompassing, and when it comes to college campuses – like how rampant hookup culture is – this event sort of brought a good clarity to the [conversation about sex],” Baker said.
She added that students in the U.S. typically lack proper sex education before they enter college.
“Most [sex education classes] discuss things like protection, STDs, general things to know,” Baker said. “They never really discussed sex in a positive light or [went] that far in their education…but programs like this bring a new light and a new opportunity for people to discuss things they never had the opportunity to.”
