Satire

Opinion

Satire: Construction scheduled for most inconvenient locations on campus

By Owen Boice | October 3

Students struggle to adapt to disruptive construction projects

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Opinion

Satire: AU grad student exhibits new art piece: “Scents of Society”

By Caeden Cloud | October 3

What’s that smell? It’s a new immersive art experience

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Opinion

Satire: Aramark: In Memoriam

By Caeden Cloud | September 4

The Seagle takes a look back at the AU community’s favorite experiences with Aramark

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Opinion

Satire: Ranking the most haunted buildings at AU

By Lauren Patetta | April 12

Note: The ranking system used here is based entirely off of the general vibe I get when walking into each building. It’s ghosts, there’s not really an exact science to it.  1. Kogod School of Business  Despite being the most cursed place on campus, Kogod is far from the most haunted. Sure, ...

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Opinion

Satire: TDR is the best food place in D.C.

By Caeden Cloud | April 11

It’s time that we truly appreciate just how good AU’s dining hall is

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Opinion

Satire: AU student believes he’s uncovered the truth about the Megabytes closure

By Caeden Cloud | April 4

Zach Langley, the Seagle’s favorite conspiracy theorist, has new ideas about the shutdown of the popular sandwich shop

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Opinion

Beyond the Byline, Episode 7: The Seagle takes over

By Chris Whitbeck , Sasha Jones and Evan Margiotta | April 1

While Evan's away, the satire crew comes to play

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Opinion

Satire: Food insecure students resolve to just stop eating altogether

By Lauren Patetta | March 29

Students are instead getting by on rainwater and school spirit

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Columns

Satire: Administration Stress: the mental health crisis on campus

By Nickolaus Mack | March 28

Jack Child Hall to offer naptime and sippy cup sessions for developing university administrators

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Opinion

Satire: Something's burning. But students aren't moving.

By Bobbie Armstrong | March 27

Kind of like a campfire, but electrical

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Opinion

Satire: Administration commits $61 million towards photoshopping diversity into recruitment brochures

By Bobbie Armstrong | March 18

Diversity that’s a little one-dimensional

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Opinion

Satire: TDR music attracts students by the thousands to go party on the weekends

By Nicole Klokiw | March 6

Students are passing the aux right back to their favorite campus dining establishment

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Opinion

Satire: AU alum offers students life advice on how to hand food through a drive-thru window

By Chris Whitbeck | February 19

“I’m always happy to prepare my fellow Eagles for their futures”

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Opinion

Satire: Administration announces five-year plan to implement 10-year plan in five years

By Bobbie Armstrong | February 11

Real change just takes a little while

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Opinion

Satire: Pink wall in Katzen honors national Pepto Bismol celebration day

By Nicole Klokiw | February 8

The popular wall unites students in a display of stomach relief solidarity 

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Opinion

Satire: Confused SG senator relieved that government shutdown won’t impact her stipend

By Chris Whitbeck | February 7

Jamie Johnson is humbled to be reminded why she serves in the first place

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Opinion

Satire: Analysts rank Eagle-Secure among the most pressing issues of our time

By Caeden Cloud | February 1

A new analysis finds that AU’s Wi-Fi network is not considered trustworthy

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