Satire

Opinion

Satire: Catching up with AU’s five science majors

By Nora Sullivan | August 2

Science students take comfort in their new space away from political science majors

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Opinion

Satire: AU requires COVID vaccines to bolster University’s liberal reputation

By Nora Sullivan | July 28

AU community breathes a sigh of relief 

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Opinion

Satire: Top 12 most ‘AU’ things students are doing this summer

By Owen Boice | July 22

#5 guaranteed to shock you — just as much as any other thing

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Opinion

Satire: Greek life loses members as students find out what it actually is

By Owen Boice | June 28

“If you still want to be part of an exclusive club, Kogod is always an option.”

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Opinion

Satire: AU assures students they can still be wonks even after end of “WONK” brand campaign

By Owen Boice | May 13

Students react to change in marketing strategy

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Opinion

Satire: Student at center of COVID outbreak staying safe by only seeing people in 25-person bubble

By Bobbie Armstrong | April 10

Everyone in the mosh pit was wearing a mask!

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Opinion

Satire: Students excited to return to campus for summer session, fall semester, oh who knows when

By Owen Boice | April 8

“I can’t wait to get back to campus tomorrow, next semester, or in 10 years.”

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Opinion

Satire: Interior design tips for the dorm aesthetic

By Aliza Schuler | April 3

Childhood bedrooms are so last fall

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Opinion

Satire: Students horrified to learn professors can see Zoom chat

By Owen Boice | March 11

Professor invades Zoom chat, prompting student outcry

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Opinion

Satire: Freshmen charmed by quaint, poverty stricken streets of Georgetown

By Bobbie Armstrong | February 18

“I’m glad I can donate my money to such a worthy cause as Baked & Wired.”

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Opinion

Satire: AU reports record drop in campus alcohol consumption this year

By Owen Boice | February 15

Administrators chalk it up to stellar online training course, “AlcoholEdu”

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Opinion

Satire: Students speculate on what Vice President-elect Harris’ husband will wear on inauguration day

By Owen Boice | January 3

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental. This year, students at American University are speculating wildly about what Vice President-elect Kamala Harris’ husband Douglas Emhoff will wear ...

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Opinion

Satire: What your horoscope is for finals season

By Aliza Schuler | December 9

We all need a little hope right now

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Opinion

Satire: Easy TDR meals you can make from home

By Aliza Schuler | November 23

For those who are just missing TDR a bit too much

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Opinion

Satire: 5 ways to keep yourself awake during Zoom classes

By Owen Boice | November 18

What to do when your eyeballs are about to fall out

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Opinion

Senior desperately trying to convince friends her semester abroad in France was inspiration for ‘Emily in Paris’

By Bobbie Armstrong | November 4

There’s a lot of people named Emily that may have been in Paris at some point

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Opinion

Satire: AU commits to announcing spring 2021 plans when they feel like it

By Owen Boice | October 23

Decision to be based on mounting financial losses

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