Satire

Opinion

Satire: ‘The Office’ style documentary follows Hilltern for a day

By Allie Grande | January 23

Behind the scenes of the never-aired episode

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Opinion

Satire: Revamped One Card currencies as simple as ever

By Ian Thornbrugh | December 15

Your One Card really does do it all

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Opinion

Satire: Best places to take your business on campus

By Jasmine Shi | December 15

I’m not allowed to say the p word 

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Opinion

Satire: AU needs to get this skunk problem under control!

By Jared Bowes | November 30

“I just don’t get why the skunks are only behind the East Quad Building and other spots just outside campus, it's really smelling awful.”

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Opinion

Satire: AUPD’s response to backlash about potential arming — ‘but we wanna’

By The Seagle Staff | November 29

In an attempt to win student support, AUPD has offered to shoot down students’ doors to help them avoid additional lockout charges 

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Opinion

Satire: University president calls for an end to Discrimination with Roberts H. Shoeretopman Higginbotham Daughenbaugh Housing Project

By Meliha Ural | November 28

Syrwell is the first president to make a diversity and equity project a reality

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Opinion

Satire: A sit-down interview with an RA

By India Siecke | November 15

Answering your burning questions for these underpaid heroes 

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Opinion

Satire: Tragic! Kind of hot 19-year-old in your class is balding

By India Siecke | November 8

The premature aging you can't escape

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Opinion

Satire: American University community reacts to the only interesting thing that has ever happened in Tenleytown

By The Seagle Staff | October 31

The world is still picking up the pieces after the holy ground of the Tenleytown Wawa was  shaken by a shocking display of juvenile violence 

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Opinion

Nine vegetarian dining options on campus

By India Siecke | September 22

A guide to help our herbivorian peers make the most of that mandatory meal plan 

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Opinion

The Kogod guy who cared

By Jared Bowes | June 9

A Seagle poem

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Opinion

Satire: AU administration under fire as sentient flames claim new alarm system is discriminatory

By Jared Bowes | May 5

Flames deemed "incapable of damage" due to color

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Opinion

Satire: Top 7 things AU students are looking forward to for summer break

By India Siecke | May 5

Let’s stop pretending Joe Biden is your neighbor

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Opinion

Satire: AU requires Duo two-factor authentication during intimate activities

By India Siecke | April 28

After requiring two-factor authentication on all students’ Canvas and email accounts, the University takes its robust security measures to the residence halls

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Opinion

Satire: How to ruin your parents’ marriage (if it isn’t already broken)

By Jasmine Shi | April 19

Strategies and benefits to take monetary advantage over the suffering of others

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Opinion

Satire: American University introduces new ‘Eagle Light’ service

By Jasmine Shi | March 27

Giant Eagles will begin replacing campus police when an alarm in the ‘Blue Light’ station sounds

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Opinion

Satire: Students bite back after dog-directed blog drops ball with publishing

By Jared Bowes | February 22

After hiring a poodle to manage the SPA blog, contributors leave in protest

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